Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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