I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
