Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My hand turned me down
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
