Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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