using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
