so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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