the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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