did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
