nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
