what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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