woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
