I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
