Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
