if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
