Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
