I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
