There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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