i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
