my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
