Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
