Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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