if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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