Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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