You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
