hotel room ftw
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
