did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
