Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need to calm my uterus...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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