So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
