soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
