Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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