Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
