halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I party with great urgency now.
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