I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
