The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
