Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
