hotel room ftw
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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