So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
