dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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