she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
