you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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