I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
