The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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