Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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