Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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