Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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