1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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