what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
