I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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