I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
