talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
