i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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