Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
